Venting...

Lately, I just haven't been feeling my usually bounce. Between not being able to fall asleep at night, even though I've had a long and productive day, I time and time again remain awake in thought.

I keep going through this mindset of that I am at a place in my life where I shouldn't be. I have really gone out of my way to do something quite wrong, and I can not get myself out of this trouble. I keep getting these little reminders of a time in my recent past when everything was going beyond great for me. I had everything, or well all that I needed to be happy. School was going quite well, I was finally an above and beyond scholar in all subjects. My circle of friends at the time were amazing and always growing and doing something engaging. I was pleasantly busy with work, with a job that was consistent and enjoyable, on top paid quite well and have benefits that at the time we're insignificant, that I now miss greatly.

My biggest hurt was the love that I had. I miss it so much. I keep having fears that something will never come close to that experience. let alone the unique things we had done together, be it, going through college together...Firsts this, and first thats....I just don't see being able to find someone who I will be able to learn thing and go through things with, that I had done before..


I miss..